So he's passed the first test that he might have a genuine desire to learn, but that's still no guarantee of anything. So invite him down to one of your classes on a one-off trial basis only. Explain that you're concerned for your current group and that it's important that you get a feel for how he fits in with them. Then when he arrives I'd like to think that you will quickly get an idea of what he's about. In the US I'm told that almost all of the guys who get this far are genuine, but if you have any doubts move him to front and centre, which takes the rest of the class from his eyeline. It also means that you can see quickly whether he's paying attention to what he's being taught or trying to steal a glance elsewhere. Which isn't to say that an entire class should be devoted to man control. Frankly if it's quickly apparent that he can't keep his eyes under control, call a break and tell him you're sorry but he should go. But most of the time what you're gonna see is somebody throwing a sweat to do the most basic moves. Again from the US the feel is that 80% of the time you don't see the guy again after two classes. 10% will last for several, but it's only the final 10% who stay on. So the upshot is that most of the time the guy won't come for long anyway and you get to have the "at-least-I-tried-gold-star-halo" of clear conscience. So give him a go, it probably won't hurt that much Female beginner's feel self-conscious All beginners do, both male and female. In fact men are feeling like that on several levels. They're in a class full of women (a new experience in itself) doing something that society at large and their friends in particular think is not an appropriate activity for them. He'll probably struggle with that for a couple of weeks, let alone learning how to do the moves. Also I've noticed that beginner females tend to come into classes with a certain amount of Hollywood / Orientalist harem fantasies that this dance is about expressing women's sexuality. No wonder they don't want men around when they're learning it !! Or at least not straight men. It's only with time as they go deeper in that they realise that this is in fact about human sensuality where male expression is just as appropriate as women's. In fact once they have seen men such as Khaled dance they often develop a more enthusiastic attitude towards sharing a class with men. Conveniently forgetting that it is their own intital attitude that snuffs out the hopes of males who wish to learn. We all know that this dance is not just about women, but to make that go from theory to practice implies that men have got to be beginners somewhere and that it'll be in a class with beginner women. My class have size / physical / emotional problems and don't want to deal with them around men Difficult. But this sounds more like therapy and it's worth asking whether you're qualified to offer that ? I would be happier if you described the class as Dance Therapy for women. This would differentiate you from those who run dance classes. I am frequently told that for many women ME dance classes are an hour or twos refuge from the world of men. I have no issue with that so long as it is advertised as such. But I am told this too often about too many classes. Are most of you really incapable of sharing this dance with men ? And if so, don't you feel just a tiny bit hypocritical when you watch men dance and go to their w/s ? Nobody can make you accept men into classes, but the problem is that so few women seem willing to take the chance that the male dancer has been all but rendered extinct in the UK. Yet most of you enjoy watching men dance, so if you want to increase the chances of having a male dancer to appreciate (let's get self-interest into it shall we ?) then you at least owe it to yourself that when the next guy rings, you know where he can go to find a class. Helen Waldie |